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How to Change Your Story

How to Change Your Story

This post originally appeared on my mental health blog Resilient.


“I believe in mining through the darkest seasons in our lives and choosing to believe that we’ll find something important every time.”

– Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet

You might have a story that you tell yourself about your life.

Maybe you tell yourself that you’re the victim of this story, like I used to do. Or maybe you tell yourself that you’re alone and nobody wants to be friends with you. Or that things have been hard in the past and there’s no hope for you now. Or that you’re a broken person.

But the thing is, you’re the one writing your own story. You can’t always control what happens to you, but you can control how you tell the story about those events and about yourself.

Instead of being the victim of circumstances, become the hero of your story.

Look back at the last few significant events in your life. Maybe negative things that you feel impacted you for the worse. Is there a way to retell those stories with you gaining something from the experience?

Think about what happened. Maybe it was completely out of your control. But what is in your control is the way you react to what happened.

What can you learn from what happened? Did you grow in any way as a person? Or maybe did you came out stronger because of it?

Or now, years later, can you decide that it actually happened for a reason because otherwise something good in your life wouldn’t be there right now?

There are always two ways to tell a story. With a negative outlook, or a positive one.

Maybe your struggle in the past was actually just a period of inner growth and learning more about yourself. A metamorphosis. Learning how strong you truly are and how much you are capable of handling.

Either way, actively look for the good in what happened and work to change the stories you tell yourself about your life.

It’s all a matter of perspective.

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